Fundamentalisten sind lustig

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Fundamentalisten sind nicht lustig? Na gut, manche von ihnen überreagieren schnell, zünden Bomben und machen sich ansonsten recht unbeliebt. Das ist zum Glück aber nur eine recht überschaubare Minderheit.

Der große Teil der religiösen Fundamentalisten besteht eigentlich aus total putzigen Leutchen, die nicht damit klarkommen, dass aufgeklärt denkende Menschen sie nicht für voll nehmen.
So zum Beispiel die Macher einer Sammlung der besten Fundamentalisten-Sprüche aus diversen Foren der englischsprachigen Welt. Ich muss zugeben, dass ich’s nicht komplett durchgelesen habe, aber irgendwann konnte ich einfach nicht mehr. HIer mal ein paar Kostproben:

Athiests as a Majority
This is what it would be like, if the majority of people were athiests.
ATHIEST KID: Mom, I’m going to go fuck a hooker.
ATHIEST MOM: Okay, son.
ATHIEST KID: Afterwards, I’m going to go smoke pot with my friends, since it’s “not addictive.”
ATHIEST MOM: Okay, come home soon!

The athiest kid leaves the room. The father comes home from work several minutes later.

ATHIEST DAD: Hey!
ATHIEST MOM: Hi, honey! I’m pregnant again. I guess I’ll just get another abortion, since “fetuses don’t count as human life.”
ATHIEST DAD: Okay, get as many abortions as you want!
ATHIEST MOM: Oh, and don’t go in the bedroom.
ATHIEST DAD: Why not?
ATHIEST MOM: There are two gay men fucking eachother in there.
ATHIEST DAD: Why are they here?
ATHIEST MOM: I wanted to watch them do it for awhile. They just aren’t finished yet.
ATHIEST DAD: Okay, that’s fine with me!

Suddenly, their neighbor runs into the house.

ATHIEST NEIGHBOR: Come quick, there’s a Christian outside!
ATHIEST MOM: We’ll be right there!

The athiest couple quickly put on a pair of black robes and hoods. They then exit the house, and run into the street, where a Christian is nailed to a large, wooden X. He is being burned alive. A crowd of athiests stand around him, all wearing black robes and hoods.

RANDOM ATHIEST: Damn you, Christian! We hate you! We claim to be tolerant of all religions. But we really hate your’s! That’s because we athiests are hypocritical like that! Die, Christian!

THE END

Scary, isn’t it?

The Prince of Pain

Der war gut. Ja, so sind wir Atheisten; den ganzen Tag Christen kreuzigen kann aber auch antrengend sein. Was machen wir denn noch so?

How can anyone beleive we evolved from monkeys heres a few questions for people who beleive that
1. If we did evolve from monkeys then how come babies arent born monkeys
2. Even Darwin said his theories were wrong before he died so why do you still believe them
3. do you really not believe the bible it says we were created in seven days not millions of years
4.how come we cant speak monkey

Just for a fact ape like creatures are monkeys Just in case certain people get on this thread

coolstylinstud

Na gut, wenn’s in der Bibel steht…

Everyone knows scientists insist on using complex terminology to make it harder for True Christians to refute their claims.

Deoxyribonucleic Acid, for example… sounds impressive, right? But have you ever seen what happens if you put something in acid? It dissolves! If we had all this acid in our cells, we’d all dissolve! So much for the Theory of Evolution, Check MATE!

EnemyPartyII

Darum dieses Jucken den ganzen Tag. Wer hätte je gedacht, dass wir uns auflösen. Danke für den Hinweis!
Mehr, viel mehr davon gibt’s hier: Link

Das Schlimme ist nur, dass man gar nicht daran denken darf, was für einen Einfluss diese Leute haben – nicht nur in den USA. Sie sind überall und es sind mehr als man denkt. Grausige Vorstellung.

4 KOMMENTARE

  1. Oh Gott, das ist ja köstlich!

    Aber warum wird der Christ an ein “X” genagelt? Warum kein “T”-Kreuz oder noch passender: Ein umgedrehtes Kreuz? Dieses Gedankenspiel müsste noch einmal überarbeitet werden. Dabei sollte man sich auch an den aktuellen Modefarben orientieren. Schwarze Kutten, also wirklich. ;)

  2. Also schwarze Klamotten wären jetzt für mich eigentlich nicht so das Problem. Das Klischee erfüll ich dann doch ganz gerne. ;-)
    Warum es ausgerechnet ein X sein muss, weiß ich allerdings auch nicht so recht. Es sieht vielleicht einfach nur recht spektakulär aus…

  3. The prison inmates arent useless any more. They should each be given a ‘miraculas vial’, they have the ability to talk to Angels and to ask them to materialize a small speck of healthy medication in the empty vial you give them. The prisoners will look closely inside their vials every morning to determine if they accummulated a tiny bit of chemical drug given to them by the Christian Angels. Give them a list of different types of drugs to request for, let them choose wich one drug type they will get manifested inside their vials. Then when it works you have a new drug to study and mass produce.

    Develop a small chip thats meant to be the spot where one molecule would be able to appear. First make a nano-box or nano-hole in the center of the chip where the single magic molecule might be found. Once this is done give one chip to each prisoner to put in the vile they each have.

  4. I pray to God that the kids have good food that got in avending machine and so then they will be given the good good food and a water with not one chemical in it be sure be sure to bolt it down or chain it down if they try to switch it.
    He gets a medallion with a cell of his geniticaly comptibel mate in it. The medalion is one of a kind it cant be switched!

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