Der Tod – Ein lustiger Geselle

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Der Tod ist überall. Grad noch schlendert man durch Bagdad, schon kommt er in Gestalt eines Irren mit Rucksack um die Ecke. Oder das Flugzeug, in dem man sitzt, beschließt, sich mit einem anderen zu paaren. Eine sehr interessante Liste ungewöhnlicher Todesarten, findet sich in der englischen Wikipedia. Auszüge gefällig?

– 260: Roman emperor Valerian, after being defeated in battle and captured by the Persians, was used as a footstool by their king Shapur I. After a long period of treatment and humiliation of this sort, he offered Shapur a huge ransom for his release. In reply, Shapur had molten gold poured down his throat. He then had the unfortunate Valerian skinned and his skin stuffed with straw and preserved as a trophy in the main Persian temple. Only after Persia’s defeat in their last war with Rome three and a half centuries later was his skin given a cremation and burial.

– 1327: Edward II of England, after being deposed and imprisoned by his Queen consort Isabella and her lover Roger Mortimer, was rumored to have been murdered by having a red-hot iron inserted into his anus.

– 1911: Jack Daniel, founder of the famous Tennessee whiskey distillery, died of blood poisoning from a toe injury he received after kicking his safe in anger when he could not remember its combination code.

– 2005: Kenneth Pinyan, a Seattle, WA. man, died of acute peritonitis after submitting to anal intercourse with a stallion in the town of Enumclaw, WA. The man had done this before, but he delayed several hours to visit a hospital wishing to avoid official cognizance. The case led to the criminalization of bestiality in Washington.

Mehr davon gibt’s hier.

Hat Gevatter Tod einen besonders guten Tag, lässt er einem sogar noch Zeit, sich besonders zu profilieren. Merke: Erst wenn man noch etwas richtig cooles gesagt hat, kann man ruhigen Gewissens abtreten. Wie z.B.:

Go on, get out! Last words are for fools who haven’t said enough!
Karl Marx, asked by his housekeeper what his last words were

No! I didn’t come here to make a speech. I came here to die.
Crawford Goldsby, aka Cherokee Bill, when asked if he had anything to say before he was hanged.

LSD, 100 kilograms I.M.
Aldous Huxley To his wife. She obliged and he was injected twice before his death.

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